Wednesday, July 20, 2011

What about the glass?

Is a glass half-full or half-empty?

  • Pessimist: The glass is half-empty.
  • Optimist: The glass is half-full.
  • Engineer: The glass is twice as large as it needs to be.
  • Ecologist: The glass would be completely full if not for global warming.
  • Accountant: Do you really need all that water?
  • Quantum physicist: Within the glass there is a 50% chance of encountering water.
  • Capitalist: Supplies are limited, order your water now!
  • Communist: Water rations are halved this year, comrade.
  • Surrealist: The cow is half banana.
  • Nihilist: What glass?
  • Nuclear physicist: If we knew when the glass was completely full, or we wait for the glass to be a quarter full, we can measure the half-life of water.
  • Astrophysicist: Within half of the observable glass, there are billions and billions of water molecules affected by a gravitational incline.
  • Gamer: This is just enough to get me to the well just beyond blue base.  I'll refill there and get the flag on the way back.
  • Analytical chemist: There is a liquid-phase mixture of hydrogen and oxygen in a two-to-one molar ratio, covalently bonded; a gas mixture of 78% diatomic nitrogen, 21% diatomic oxygen, and 1% other gases; confined within an open mouthed container of an amorphous silicate solid.
  • Mythbuster: Water in the glass, FIRE IN THE HOLE!
  • Nutritionist: You need sixteen of these a day.
  • Physician: Only half of this should be given intravenously, and only after adding 5% glucose by mass.
  • Computer scientist: It has to be either full or empty, unless we're using a quantum computer!
  • Theoretical physicist: You fool!  You altered the quantity of water in the glass by observing it!
  • Plasma physicist: Whoops, the water just evaporated.
  • Survivalist: Come near what's left of my water and I'll blow your head off.
  • Pragmatist: Just let me drink the damn water already!

On another note, I got together with a couple of the Master Minds to do an episode of "Out Of Our Minds:"

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